You have a date for Valentine’s Day!

For some, this day is one of the most romantic passionate times of the year and for others it’s dreaded. A reminder of their lack of lover, simply an over commercialized excuse for card stores and flower shops to make a fortune.

Trust me, I understand. I was there after my marriage of 20 years ended. Seeing all the romantic couples, lovey dovey stuff everywhere made me feel sad. Yet, even when I did “have a Valentine”, I recall almost feeling worse on many occasions, as it did not live up to the hyped-up expectations I had obtained through social media and advertising. Where was my surprise invite? Where I would walk into a path of rose petals leading to a candlelit table or carpet picnic set for 2 with all my favourite foods? Flowers although lovely any other time of year, were a little disappointing as it was the norm, no thought involved. Wasted money! I would like to include chocolate in the mix but I love it too darn much 🙂 This was compounded by the fact that I worked at a card store when I was in high school where so many customers just asked me to choose a card, not caring at all what the message inside said – often signing and sealing it on the spot. Why bother? I can’t speak for all women, but those closest to me know how important the personal sentiment in a card is to me. It’s far more important than anything bought. I admit shedding tears over many and I have kept every one. I don’t need “things”, I need to know you care. Now, combine that with a little romance like a homemade candlelight dinner or even a dance in the living room to one of our favourite songs. I’m melting…. No need to spend a fortune! Do I reciprocate? Damn right I do! I always try and come up with unique ideas to show how much I care. For my 3-year anniversary, I gave my partner 100 capsules with a personal rolled up romantic message in each one, to open each day. But I challenge you – why wait for Valentine’s Day or other predictable occasions to be this romantic? If you want to really improve your love life, do it when least expected.

Back to those who are single – how do you deal with this day where you feel like you are going to vomit if you see more hearts, xoxo’s and professions of love? First and foremost – you fall in love with you! There will be plenty of time to share these occasions with someone else, but it’s not often you will get to have a date to celebrate the amazing person you are! The more confident you are, the more it is projected to others which is a huge turn on. It also puts you in the best position possible for a healthy long-lasting relationship. So, after wishing those you love a Happy Valentine’s Day, get off social media where all those “my life is perfect” posts are and begin the pampering. Buy yourself your favourite beverage and treat, get in your comfiest clothes and write a love letter to yourself. Imagine all the things your future mate would say they love about you. Go one step further and right a love letter back, indicating all the things you love about him/her. This is a great reminder of what you need/want in a partner to pull out later in case you are ever tempted to settle for less. For those who believe in manifestation – this is also a great technique. Want to really feel empowered? Do something your ex hated that you always loved and count your blessings for being able to do it now without judgement. Reflect on other opportunities you now have that you did not have before. How will you continue to grow to be the best possible you, so that when you meet the right man/women they will compliment your life – not complete it? Nothing is a greater turn off than those who drop everything and make their life revolve around him/her once they get together. Having your own interests, friends etc. and keeping up with them is highly attractive!

Now, for those who cannot stand the thought of a date with yourself- call some people who adore you or reach out to your other single friends for a safe zoom dinner/cocktail party/movie night etc. Want to really get into the occasion? This may be hard for some, but we can all use more love so why not tell each one of them what you love/like most about them? Still not sold? Never a better time than to get in shape so consider trying a new workout, going for a walk to explore a new area or watching a great new series on Netflix with a big bowl of popcorn. Do your favourite hobby or even better finish a project you have been putting off.

Bottom line is that as lovely as it is to have a partner to share the occasion with, the grass is not always greener on the other side. So many would kill for some time with themselves to do what they like. Remember – Valentine’s Day is just one day, over in an instant, but it is a great opportunity for you to prepare for your future lover and ensure you completely love and appreciate the most important person in your life – YOU!

Happy Valentines “Day”!